Literature

Backlit

For now you must rest.

For now you must bend your will and descend to the dark chamber where all senses are suspended and only that slow and incommoding longing for movement remains. Because now is the moment to rest your body to free your mind, and as in the heavens, your movements are getting more and more stationary. Minimal. Primary. Fetal.

Do as you were instructed. Embrace Winter. Become Winter.

For now you must surrender to that disturbing silence of the chamber from which light seems to fade away on each passing day. Irreversibly, you would say. You are afraid. The darkness is immensely greater than you, than your plans, than your routines. It determines your time and terminates your times. It reveals all your shadows. Painful as they are. You seem to hear voices, many hallucinations that come through you but do not belong to you. You get angry. You refuse to grief. As it would be expected, denial is always the first stage of the process.

But do as you were instructed. Accept Winter. Become Winter.

For now you need to fully stop and preserve your energies. The worst of the cold is yet to come, and you will need all your strength to face the rigueur of the time of all silences. Of the silence in which you were sown so one day you will be reborn in live flesh and an awakened spirit. You will need to face the screams coming from your own soul, clearer than ever, and be ready for the apparition from which few have ever come out alive and sane.

Do as you were instructed. Listen to Winter. Become Winter.

From the scream of your soul you will discern a calling capable to bring back the very Sun like the cattle to the fields. In the dark chamber you will be visited by a tiny ray of light that will slowly bathe your forehead, your face, then the rest of your body, then the entire room. You will not recognise your environment at first sight, and then you will see that you yourself have shape-shifted. You are another person now, one with a radiant brow and prophetic lips.

The promise shall be accomplished. And all because you’ve become Winter.

On your way out, you will find a world very different from the one you left in the end of the Summer. You might feel somewhat confused. You might not understand what happened to the hills that are now valleys, or feel that the firmament turned into the ocean and the sea was sucked into the sky. And the unbreathable air, such poor fuel for the flame you bring within you. But please, do persist. Not the sea, nor the earth, nor even the air will pass unless the wheel turns over and over again, until each being finds its note to sing in the Great Song of all things. And then you will know that nothing was by accident in your path: the first invite, the signs, the dark chamber, the next morning.

Then you will have to keep becoming Winter until the light is fully accomplished. Because it never arrives too late, and while there are shadows in the world, it will always arrive.

The invincible light. The Sun that lives within you and radiates to all humankind.

This text was originally published in the number 0 of Ophiusa, the Portuguese language magazine of the Order of Bards, Ovates and Druids.

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